Child's hand holding little finger of adult's hand

Is staying awake for your child’s reassurance every night really the only way to be a loving mum?

Bedtime Battles
January 20, 2026•2 min read

If you’ve ever fallen asleep next to your child at bedtime — again — and woken up groggy, behind, and quietly resentful, this episode is for you.

Many thoughtful, cycle-breaker mums find themselves stuck in a painful bind at bedtime:
wanting to meet their child’s need for reassurance and connection, while also desperately needing rest, adult time, and space to breathe.

When everyone’s needs are valid — but don’t line up neatly — bedtime can start to feel emotionally impossible.

In this episode, we explore:

  • why bedtime is often the hardest moment for gentle, cycle-breaker mums

  • how children ask for reassurance through behaviour, especially when tired

  • why staying until they fall asleep can feel loving and deeply depleting

  • how guilt and resentment build when mums try to hold everything alone

  • why this doesn’t have to become your needs vs theirs

This isn’t about perfect routines, rigid rules, or forcing independence.
It’s about finding a way to hold connection and care for yourself — with support.

🌿 Support for Mums Holding Too Much Alone

The Calm Mum Community is open at the Early Joiner rate of £22 per month, locked in for as long as you remain a member (this will increase to £37 per month after 31 January).

Inside the community, I support mums to:

  • hold loving boundaries without guilt

  • respond to bedtime behaviour with clarity and compassion

  • reclaim rest and adult time without feeling like they’re abandoning their child

  • get personalised support for their specific family situation

👉 Join here:
https://go.dyfparents.com/calm-mum-community

💛 Stay Connected

Subscribe for weekly support, tools, and grounded insights for anxious mums breaking free from people-pleasing and learning to lead with confidence and connection.


Connect:
Instagram / Facebook / YouTube → @dreamyourfuturefamilies
Start here for free → go.dyfparents.com/sigh-to-snap-spotter


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bedtime battles gentle parenting cycle breaker mums bedtime guilt exhausted mums bedtime reassurance co-regulation parenting parenting sensitive children mum burnout bedtime routines emotional regulation parenting calm parenting support reclaiming adult time parenting without guilt nervous system parenting
Understanding people has always been a passion of mine, and becoming a parent made that understanding even more real. My counselling training helped me explore the emotional challenges of parenting — not perfectly, but with more presence, compassion, and clarity. Now I run a social enterprise supporting families through group work, counselling, and digital learning.

Emma Reed

Understanding people has always been a passion of mine, and becoming a parent made that understanding even more real. My counselling training helped me explore the emotional challenges of parenting — not perfectly, but with more presence, compassion, and clarity. Now I run a social enterprise supporting families through group work, counselling, and digital learning.

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